Archive for the 'inspector' Category

Friday night (again)

Published on June 28, 2010 in baton, foot patrol, foot pursuit, geneva convention, inspector, knife and taxi. Closed

written by The Duty Sgt from The Duty Sgt

Ive spent the last three days on foot patrol in one of the larger towns I work in. Its always interesting and I manage to spot far more offences than you do speeding past in a patrol car. I thought id share a few of my highlights with you:

Drunken MOP: "FU**ING BL**DY WA*K THING" as he punches and swears at a cash point as he does not have any money in his account.

Me: "COME ON MATE STOP THAT OR YOU'LL BE ARRESTED."

MOP: "YOU CAN FU** OFF WA*KER!"

Me: "I'M WARNING YOU UNDER SECTION FIVE OF THE PUBLIC ORDER ACT SWEAR AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE ARRESTED."

MOP: "YEH WHATEVER" and staggers away.

I walk up a flight of steps and he comes running after me

MOP "I WANT YOUR FU**ING NUMBER!"

Me "ITS.......(BLEEPED OUT FOR ANONYMITY) I REQUIRE YOUR NAME DATE OF BIRTH AND ADDRESS AS I'M GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU FOR YOUR SWEARING."

MOP "UNDER THE GENEVA CONVENTION I'M NOT REQUIRED TO GIVE YOU MY DETAILS."

Me "ITS NOT A TIME OF WAR AND YOUR NOT A SOLDIER I REQUIRE YOUR NAME DATE OF BIRTH AND ADDRESS OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED....."

Then repeat the above two lines on five occasions before my handcuffs come out and the male is arrested. As soon as the cuffs are on

MOP "MY NAME IS BLEEP AND I LIVE AT BLEEP." God help us if we have to go to war with people like him.

The next highlight was arresting two sixteen year olds who had tried to get a taxi. When the driver asked for money up front they thought the proper response was to pull out a baton and knife and threaten him. This wasn't a robbery they wanted to coerce him into driving them back to their home address!

The crowning achievement goes to my Inspector. I was on my way back into town in car after dropping a prisoner off when a foot pursuit came in over the radio as officers chased a male who had stolen a purse from a handbag in a nightclub. I followed the line of huffing and puffing officers as they were stopped bent over at the side of the road arms pointing in the direction of the pursuit. My Inspector calls up stating she has the male in custody and ten seconds later I arrive in the car and two of the fitter officers arrive on foot. I'm puzzled as to how she beat everyone to the prisoner, she is only 5'4" tall and by her own admission does not like running. Laughing she reveals that she commandeered a passing taxi complete with passengers and uttered the immortal words "FOLLOW THAT MAN!"

Ma'am I salute you!

The original post can be found http://thedutysgt.blogspot.com/2010/06/friday-night-again.html

Police Racism

Published on March 8, 2010 in Sergeants, Wizards, breakfast, canteen, cctv, custody, inspector, paperwork, racism and skippers. Closed

written by Area Trace No Search from Area Trace No Search

Recently I was sitting around the table with a few teammates, a Sergeant and an Inspector from another team. We were discussing the various jobs we had dealt with or were dealing with, when a probationer PC piped up about a shoplifting job he had ongoing.

He'd just picked up the CCTV from the shop, which was of the usual quality - nice to have, but nowhere near good enough for a conviction by itself.
He'd played it back and had spotted a black male going into and leaving the shop at the appropriate time, and the suspect that he had arrested at the scene and who was sitting in custody was a black male.
The officer said "The useful thing is, there aren't many black people in that area, only two come in during the whole time, so that makes things a bit easier to ID him."

A long intake of breath followed.

The young in service officer paused. "What?"

Whispered conversation between the Inspector and Sergeant, then the PC was invited out of the canteen to have a chat about his "potentially racist attitude."
How have we got to this point, where a young, naive but eager PC is excited about the prospect of arresting a suspect and he is spoken to about his potential racism?

Yes, the words may have been misconstrued if seen in an isolated sentence. Yes, someone that wasn't in the conversation may have misunderstood. But in the context of the conversation, it was a simple case of a young copper wanting to be able to charge a recidivist thief.

The really sad thing is that the Inspector involved didn't for a moment think that any racism was involved, and the same goes for the Sergeant. What they didn't want (understandably) was to be seen to be allowing racism.

It's hard to keep up sometimes.

The original post can be found http://areatracenosearch.blogspot.com/2010/03/police-racism.html

Soap box

Published on February 8, 2010 in Hitler, Insp, MPs, custody Sgt, inspector and the job. Closed

written by The Duty Sgt from The Duty Sgt

In my first post I said this blog would be a kind of therapy. Sometimes I need to vent, I can’t moan to those below me, partly because they have their own issues and to be honest it’s unprofessional and I don’t want some of them knowing my own personal issues. Ive had it thrown back at me when dealing with people. They heave replied “WELL, SGT X DID THE SAME LAST WEEK!” Or “I CANT APPLY FOR THAT JOB COS OF MY SICKNESS? WHAT ABOUT THE INSPECTORS SHE HAS MORE THAN ME!” The problem is I agree with them but can’t say so. My Inspector changes every six months and the current one takes as much time off as possible so we end up with other Inspectors who have been dragged out of offices covering us. They don’t care about the shift and are generally in office based jobs for a reason and just want to get back in doors as soon as possible. I’m the only real continuity the shift has and to be honest it’s wearing a bit thin.

Due to the state of the economy central government has tightened up the purse strings to bail the banks out and pay for MPs expenses. Chains of command, BCU (Basic Command Units) and shift patterns have been changed to try and do more with less, morale has plummeted. Anyone that can is trying to get off response and onto another department. The gaps are being filled with problem children that have been kicked off their own departments or new probationers. It feels like Nazi Germany with Hitler moving divisions around on a map and everyone is too scared to tell him that they don’t exist anymore. You speak out and tell your superiors that the new plan isn’t working and you’re a trouble maker and adverse to change with the implied criticism that you’re an old fashioned Police officer which the inference your corrupt, racist and sexist. The reply I keep hearing people being given at the moment is, “AT LEAST YOU HAVE A JOB.” For me its not just a job it’s a way of life, maybe that’s why things are the way they are at the moment in the Police service, too many people view it as ‘A JOB’

When I had my diversity training at training school one of the definitions we had to learn and recite was the responses to racism, one of these was acquiescence which means submission or acceptance. At the moment I'm in the acquiescence stage I want promotion and still have a vain hope that it will all work out and someone up top actually knows what they are doing.

In response to my last comment it does appear someone somewhere knows what they are doing. I’m glad to hear that four MPs have been charged with fraud offences relating to expenses claims and will follow their cases in the media with interest, I wonder what will happen to them and if it will be commensurate with what happens to Police Officers caught doing similar things? After all both are holders of offices and have trust put in them by the public to carry out their duties in the correct manner. A certain senior Met Officer has finally got his just deserts. Ive read his book, various newspaper articles and followed the story in the news. Thankfully he will no longer be able to call himelf a Constable and abuse his position for his own ends. Im sure there will be an appeal, the Met and the rest of the Police will be called racist. Personally Im not racist I just hate bullies and criminals no matter what colour their skin is or what they do for a living.

The original post can be found http://thedutysgt.blogspot.com/2010/02/soap-box.html

Lions led by donkeys

Published on November 19, 2009 in Acting, B.O.N.G.O.s, BONGO, Blackadder, Insp, MISPERs, Sir, inspector and response. Closed

written by The Duty Sgt from The Duty Sgt

Due to passing a recent exam I’ve been doing a bit of ‘acting’ and no I don’t mean wearing greasepaint and fluffing my lines I mean performing the role of a higher rank.

For those members of parliament that are worried about the burden of this on the public purse I have to do approximately two weeks worth of acting duties before I receive any extra pay. This is in addition to the half hour ‘for the queen’ that all officers have to do before you can claim overtime.

Acting up was a bit of any eye opener for me and confused many of the people I work with. I was called ‘Sir’, ‘Sarge’, ‘Sirsarge’, ‘Sire’, ‘Serge’ and ‘you’ve got something funny on your shoulders’ as well as other terms I wont reproduce here.

Different forces use Inspectors differently. In mine out of office hours the ‘response Inspector’ is responsible for running a quarter of the force, custody reviews and all incidents from MISPERs (missing persons), serious crashes and assaults and any ‘hate’ incidents as well as complaints.

This meant for the first time in about three years I didn’t leave the station for a whole day. Instead I was handcuffed to desk with a computer and phone and a long chain that had just enough reach for me to go to custody.

I’m sure with a bit of practice the same as when I went from PC to PS I could do the various jobs much quicker and get out and about again and feel the streets under my boots/tyres depending on my mode of transport.

This also meant that people I had previously called ‘Sir’ or ‘Maam’ I was now calling by their first names and able to be a bit more frank with them instead of just grinning and bearing it.

I can see now why from Inspector upwards in the Police you don’t see many higher ranking people out and about on the street. They have an increased administration burden and if you are so inclined you can take advantage of it and make sure you never leave the office. Recently I’ve seen an Inspector control a firearms incident from the office. Quite how they thought they ‘managed’ it I'm not sure but from my vantage point hiding behind a brick wall I can say it was not done effectively.

It made me think. Do I want to get promoted? I like being a Sgt you have a good compromise of power and ability to influence things with still being out on the streets and being able to make life more bearable for your troops. At least if I get promoted I can try and influence things from a higher level and try and shame other similar ranked ‘office dwellers’ into coming out on the streets.

Such people are affectionately referred to as ‘B.O.N.G.O.s’ in Police parlance. This isn’t a racist term it stands for Books. On. Never .Goes. Out. You can generally spot such Police officers as they are wearing shoes and not boots. Don’t have a stab vest or belt kit and if they do it will be all shiny and new and worn back to front and upside down. And will have ‘forgotten’ their pocket notebook so they cant take any details at an incident and be called to court.

It reminds me off the Blackadder goes forth sketch where General Meltchitt reminds Blackadder and George that he and Captain Darling are behind him when he ‘goes over the top’ and Blackadder mutters about them being miles behind him.

Got to go the whistle is blowing and I need to find my stick/baton, wouldn’t want to face a machine gun without it…..

The original post can be found http://thedutysgt.blogspot.com/2009/11/lions-led-by-donkeys.html

Keep Cool

Published on November 17, 2009 in SMT, assault police, bollocking, gadget, inspector, politics and urgent assistance. Closed

written by Area Trace No Search from Area Trace No Search

That was the good news, as provided by an anonymous commenter. Thank you.

Now, go look HERE at Gadget's blog.
Most of the time I avoid any type of political comment on the Police. Gadget, Copperfield, Nightjack and many others have that covered in a more eloquent way than I could ever hope to do. In fact, you'll be pleased to know that due in part to my dimness, and also in part to my being knackered, it took me three attempts to spell "eloquent" just then.

However, Gadget's post above just infuriates me. A particularly brave officer is injured and the Chief Constable unable to comment as he is a serving officer.
As a serving Police Officer myself, there's obviously no way I'd suggest that people should email into the Police Force mentioned and take the Chief to task for what I see as pretty appalling behaviour on his part.

It's just what I'd do if I wasn't in the job.
But I am.
So I won't.

Watch the video again, it'll make you feel better.

The original post can be found http://areatracenosearch.blogspot.com/2009/11/keep-cool.html

Introducing The Hardline

Published on November 9, 2009 in bollocking, complaint, computers, inspector and paperwork. Closed

written by Area Trace No Search from Area Trace No Search

Shortly before my enforced absence from both the blogging and Policing world I got an email from a Police Officer with perhaps the funniest signature I’ve read in a work communication.

It was so funny that I had to ask the officer concerned whether he actually used it – he told me that not only did he use it, but that almost no one had noticed.

This was either a joke that I didn't get, or an elaborate lie in order to test my credulity.

Alternatively, my Inspector is more observant than his.

My numerous attempts at creating signatures were quickly thwarted. My first three were trialed in emails to my whole team. I knew when my Inspector had read the first by two methods. First, my outlook folder has the "read" reports turned on. Secondly, after fifteen seconds there was a bellow of "AREA!" from the office.

After the first three, I simply sent the next ones directly to the Inspector for him to proof read. I'm relatively sure that he may have found at least one amusing, and also just as sure that he doesn't even have a computer at home - let alone the will and ability to waste his evenings off reading Police blogs.

So, any suggestions at an email signature are welcome. I will actually use the best of them- but acting on my Inspector's orders, I am not allowed any reference to: obesity, teenage obesity, any type of warfare, Dog the Bounty Hunter, or CAMRA.

Nor any mention of fishing, hypnosis, or ripped jeans.

The original post can be found http://areatracenosearch.blogspot.com/2009/11/introducing-hardline.html

The Duty Inspector…..?

Published on October 13, 2009 in Insp Gadget, Inspector Gadget, The Duty Inspector, inspector and promotion. Closed

written by The Duty Sgt from The Duty Sgt

The Duty Sgt has managed to pass the first of two national exams to become an Inspector. Dont worry the blog name wont change and neither will my views.

Anyway Inspector Gadget already has the monopoly on Police Inspector blogs and gucci T shirts! Maybe Ill start a line of novelty mugs......

The original post can be found http://thedutysgt.blogspot.com/2009/10/duty-inspector.html

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t…

Published on October 5, 2009 in IPCC, Sergeants, assault, complaints, inspector and nightclub. Closed

written by The Blue Light Run from The Blue Light Run

Complaints are a regular occurrence in the police service. In most instances, someone is going to be displeased with what you've done. Whether it's the criminal for actually getting caught and claiming 'illegal arrest' or the innocent victim who fails to comprehend that all lines of enquiry have been exhausted and that without any further information becoming available, their crime will remain undetected and 'filed'. Now take it from me, most police officers like to get a positive disposal for reported crimes they are investigating. It's not a secret, all police forces in the UK are 'measured' and have 'detection' targets. This filters down to the bobby on the beat, who has a monthly target to reach. It used to be arrests, but detections now seem to be the way forward for our command team. What I'm saying is that it is in an officers best interests to investigate crime properly, to get that detection. Anyway, I digress...members of the public are quite often left feeling that police haven't done enough to investigate their crime and will on occasion make an 'official' complaint.
Complaints are a pain in the rear. All of a sudden you go from being a contentious harding working officer, to feeling like your name is being pulled through the mud. You find that you spend a ridiculous amount of time justifying your actions, defending yourself and colleagues. This not only takes up an enormous amount of time but more importantly it takes you away from doing what you are employed to do, responding to incidents and investigating crime. Now you are probably thinking about a major IPCC complaint, but no I am referring to the low level 'walking in to the police station and bitch about the investigating officer' affair. If you do this, complete a form in the front office and you can guarantee you have taken at least one officer off a shift for at least 4 hours. Sergeants and Inspectors then kick into gear, you are pulled into offices 'for a chat', your work is scrutinised, every update on the crime report meticulously trawled through. Sorry, did I say one officer? clearly the Sergeants and Inspectors should have other things to do to (or so I'm told).
People complain about all sorts of things. Officers that are rude ("get back , I am dealing with a violent drunk / take your bloody mate home now or your both nicked etc"). Officers that are negligent ("he promised to update me on Sunday but I waited in and got no call. I don't care he's on rest days after a 60 hour week") and officers that fail to perform their duties ("I told him its the bloke who lives in the flat upstairs, I saw him in the hallway. Why do you need evidence? Its him I tell you, I just know it"). Anyway you get the idea. I'm not saying people are stupid but sometimes I wish they had an insight into how investigating crime works. It isn't 'the Bill', where suspects 'cough it' after one interview and you wouldn't believe the hoops the CPS have us jumping through even if you catch billy burglar walking out of Mrs Miggins house with a TV under his arm. Trying to explain to Mrs Miggins why Billy only got 50 hrs community service is heart wrenching, given that discovering you've been burgled will stay with you for the rest of your life. Sorry, digressing again....
This week I got such a complaint. I was on duty outside a local nightclub. Everyone was in high spirits, lots of whooping and merriment going on. A young lad approached me and told me his girlfriend had been 'inappropriately touched' and assaulted in the club. I asked him to get her. She stumbled towards me, clearly drunk and shouted "well its about f***ing time". Charming. I ascertained that the suspect was still on the premises, obtained a description and myself and another officer went into the club to look for the bad guy. Our radios didn't work in the building so we informed control we were going in. Whilst in the club I was pushed, jostled, I felt hands reaching for my belt kit, radio, CS and baton. There were over 1,000 people in the club. I felt a little intimidated to be honest.
We then left the club, not having found the suspect. The girlfriend demanded to be taken around the club but given the fact she was (a) drunk, (b) volatile, (c) my radio didn't work and (d) I could well get a good shoeing by clubbers looking to exact some revenge on the wooden tops if it all went wrong inside, I decided that it wasn't safe to go back in. The girlfriend didn't like this and played up. She was told to go home, get some sleep and we would contact her when we returned on duty. The next day I walked into a complaint from her father, stating that didn't go into the club at all, the suspect was still on scene, why didn't we arrest? we were negligent etc etc. I then spent the next four hours typing a statement detailing and justifying everything I had done. Oh and so did the other three officers who were with me. Jobs were coming in thick and fast, but we couldn't go....
Anyway, the complaint was resolved 'locally'. Meaning that the inspector had to listen to the bile coming out of the complainant's mouth who clearly only had half of the story. The Inspector then assured the complainant that the officers would be spoken to, but if he wanted to make the complaint official then the matter would be fully investigated (thanks for the support Guv, stab vests firmly on inside the nick methinks). The complainant stated he did not want to ruin anyone's careers so as long as the officers were 'spoken to' he was happy with that. I was hoping he would take it all the way, after all his daughter hadn't given him the full facts. Indeed, it transpires that the girlfriend wasn't 'inappropriately touched', she lied to get us to enter the club in the first place.....
We've all had them, they are not nice. It used to be said that if you didn't get a complaint once in a while you were not doing your job properly. I don't necessarily agree with that but I am conscious that I work in a job where you cannot please everyone all of the time. Unfortunately some victims of crime will never get justice. It's disappointing but a fact of life.

The original post can be found http://thebluelightrun.blogspot.com/2009/10/damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-dont.html

An Inspector Speaks: MP’s Slam Police for Being Racist

Published on July 25, 2009 in British Army, Police, inspector and racism. Closed

written by Emily from The Thinking Policeman: A Police Officer's Blog

We've had Sierra Charlie Speaks and Plastic Fuzz Speaks (Plastic - please write more), the postings of whom were both very popular. I'm very honoured that these officers submitted postings to my blog and it's marvellous to share the perspectives of officers from different levels of the police. I've always wanted this blog to be an avenue to give the public an insight into the daily lives of police officers in the UK and to portray the 'human' face of the men and women behind the uniform. It's also been very beneficial for me to read the comments left by members of the public the majority of whom, contrary to media reports, are very supportive.

So I am extremely pleased to present this first posting written by another Inspector from another Force. I'm sure you'll agree, it represents a good portent of things to come from this officer should they decide to contribute regularly to this blog. Either way, for me at least, it's a breath of fresh air - expertly researched and well written. I can't say I'm surprised, their credentials are of the highest order. I have actually invited the Inspector to become a team member of this blog, with a view to eventually taking it over. I've written about and reaffirmed the reasons why I joined the police, shared some of the highs and lows of being a police officer, and have concluded with what it is to be a leader. I've pretty much said all I wanted to say. There are a couple of other things that have been on my mind which I may write about but this is, in essence, the beginning of my long goodbye. I hope the Inspector takes me up on the offer of continuing this blog.

I did read the report that the Inspector writes about below and, needless to say, I was absolutely incensed. There's a saying about people who live in glass houses not throwing stones which Keith Vaz should take heed of but, not wanting to steal the Inspector's thunder, I shall leave you to read and digest their posting.

Chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee, Keith Vaz and his cronies have criticised the police. He says that despite the recommendations of the McPherson inquiry, we are stopping and searching too many black people and failing to recruit a proportionate number of ethnic minority officers. He went on to say that there is blatantly a disproportionate representation of particularly black people in the criminal justice system.

Before I comment further let’s look at the integrity and credentials of Mr Vaz.

Mr Vaz has claimed £75,500 for a flat in Westminster despite having a £1.15 million family home 12 miles away. In May 2007, just after the taxpayer had paid the Council Tax and Service charges of £3095 on his flat, he flipped his second home to another property in Leicester as he had rented out the flat. There was no mortgage on this ‘second’ home but he managed to claim £16,000 in expenses for it including; £480 on silk cushions, £2614 on a pair of leather arm chairs and £750 on new carpets. In May 2008 he flipped his second home back to the Westminster flat and started claiming mortgage and expenses on that again.

His family arrived in this country from Yemen in 1965. He received a good education and qualified and worked as a solicitor until elected to Parliament in 1987. His career has not been without controversy and how he has retained his position is questionable.

In 1989 he led a protest against Salman Rushdie’s novel, The Satanic Verses, later stating there was no such thing as absolute freedom of speech. In the same year he suggested that an IRA bomb at the Leicester army recruiting office may have been planted by the British Army.

In 2000 he was investigated and subsequently censured following the Filkin report, which he refused to co-operate with. He owned five properties at this time. He was found to have accepted money from Sarosh Zaiwolla, whom he later recommended for a peerage.

In 2001 he was severely criticised for getting involved with the application for British citizenship from the Hinduja brothers who paid his wife’s company money for an event at the House of Commons.

In 2002 Mr Vaz was suspended from the House for one month for making false allegations against a former policewoman. I could go on but hopefully you get the picture.

The message I have for Mr Vaz is very simple. A disproportionate number of black people are stopped and searched and are in the criminal justice system because a disproportionate number of black people commit crime. I won't entertain any argument that they are predisposed to commit crime, only that they have been so alienated and let down by the government's failed social programs and promises that, for many, they have been given no avenues to do otherwise.

To suggest that there are more black people in the justice system because the police target black offenders and therefore ignore white offenders is an outrageous slur and a complete distortion of the truth. In Lambeth and Hackney for example, it is almost 100% groups of black youths committing robbery offences on black, white and Asian victims. The police target the offenders. We can’t lawfully search white people just to balance the books.

What Mr Vaz and his colleagues should be doing, instead of bleeding as much as they can from the expenses system and building property empires, is to look at why there are so many black people committing crime. What are Mr Vaz and the Government doing to ensure that immigrants to this country are not a danger to the public and are not gunning down policewomen on the streets of Nottingham? What is Mr Vaz and the Government doing about ensuring young black people get a proper education, are lifted out of poverty and despair and led away from a culture of gangs, drugs, unemployment and the criminal justice system?

When the levels of education among black people reach the national average the police will find it an awful lot easier to recruit, retain and promote them.

No organisation, public or private, has done more to promote equality and diversity than the police service. Many would say we have gone too far, but that is another story. Our prisons are overflowing and the Justice system cannot cope with the offenders we are putting into the system. So the offenders continue to offend and get caught in the incessant merry go round. That too is another story.

When you have done your job Mr Vaz, ours will be a lot easier and will appear fairer to your ignorance.

Don’t knock us for doing ours so well.

The original post can be found http://thethinkingpoliceman.blogspot.com/2009/07/inspector-speaks-mps-slam-police-for.html

Market Research

Published on July 6, 2009 in Constable, Police, Utopia, inspector and police officer. Closed

written by Emily from The Thinking Policeman: A Police Officer's Blog

I've read many blogs written by the Great British public bemoaning the state of the police today. I've also considered the like comments that have been posted by the readers of those blogs. Some give good reason, many do not. Whilst I appreciate that for some people they will always have a seething distrust and dislike of the police no matter what we do, there are those that have and do give good reason for their criticism. As I said, they are few and far between. It is much easier to refer to us as 'thugs' and 'bully boys' without giving much thought to what an ideal Police Force or Officer should do to improve both the service given and the image portrayed.

So, my questions to you are as follows:

1. If you could influence the way any given Police Force is run, how would you want its performance to be measured in order to gauge public satisfaction?

2. Based on your own experiences of dealing with individual police officers, or should you ever need to deal with one, how has or how would you expect that officer to behave?

Obviously, I cannot change the organisational directions of any given Force, but being an Inspector who now leads a response team of 20 or so officers, I can use your feedback to educate both them and I. I have already given the team targets to achieve, some organisational, some my own. Regardless, I expect high standards of my officers. Some may say I'm a hard task master, but I believe that the minimum targets I set for myself are those that would be expected by the public.

Just to let you know what they are:

1. I can only gauge the performance and bearing of my officers when dealing with the public due to the number of complaints and letters or thanks that I receive. In either case, I will speak to the member of the public to ascertain what dis-pleased/pleased them. I will always speak to the officer, giving advice, guidance or praise where necessary.

2. Each officer has to achieve 5 arrests per month. I don't see this as pressurising them into making needless arrests where discretion would have been the preferred outcome. I have based this on my own performance as both a Police Constable and Sergeant.

3. Each crew posted together in a vehicle is expected to meet the Chartered Response Times. For 'Immediate Calls' this is within 12 minutes, for 'Soon Calls' within 60 minutes. If we make an appointment to meet a victim, we must make it on time, no exceptions, and I have a dedicated officer to respond to these appointments. If a unit is late to any call, I want to know why. Sometimes it's just unavoidable, but I want to see on the Incident Report an entry from the officer saying that they called the victim back and gave an estimated time of arrival.

4. Each officer should achieve a minimum of 10 stop and accounts each per month. I say 'accounts' and not 'searches', because I don't want my officers to unnecessarily search someone who does not need to be.

5. They must be smart at all times. Their shirts must be white (not yellow) and ironed. Shoes must be polished and hair cut to regulation length. When they get out of their vehicles whilst in public, they must wear their head wear.

You'll notice that Sanctioned Detections aren't in there. The majority of arrests my officers make are handed over to other units to investigate, normally CID.

One thing my officers do know is that I don't prescribe to the time-honoured tradition of moving an underperforming officer onto another unit, or giving them attachments, or courses. To do so wouldn't address the problem. Continued poor performance means continued poor service to the public. I'll deal with them and thus far all have responded.

So I've set my stall out. Are the targets that I set for my officers what you would expect? Or is there more that you would expect when responding to the two questions I've asked?

I've got the best analyst in the Utopian Police Force on standby to collate the responses.