Monthly Archive for March, 2007

Spam Spam Spam….

Published on March 31, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by unlikely cop from Unlikely Cop

I read a bit about NSPIS on PC BLOGGS site. I have a real fear of the whole computer thing. We used to book prisoners in and a nice (mostly) sergeant would type some details into the box while I or maybe a gaoler would take property and bag it up. I would be searching my prisoner and all this would happen pretty quickly and overlap.

Now everything gets typed in.
One thing at a time.
Ad-nauseum.

It adds about 10 minutes to each prisoner which might not sound much but the other night we arrested 5 for theft. It took I would guess at least 45 minutes extra to book them in on top of the usual "why am I being locked up" stupidity. This is a long time when others are waiting for their turn.

The new system doesn't seem to save me any work at all. It does remove the need for one form which is now recorded electronically but muggins here still gets to type the information in so no time off for me there either.

We now have a new system for logging incidents. It's a pig to search through and rarely do I spot everything I should in any given week.

There are so many different types of heading for the various incidents that you can't just look up "kids being naughty" because it might now be youth nuisance or rowdy behaviour or maybe drink-related all of which get their own headings.

And if you and the person who started the log off have a difference over the spelling or way the address is written the system will fail to find it entirely. (I know the other one was the same but it was 25 years old and we now have so many different and varied boxes to record stuff under. Anyway, things have come a long way since then. Except for us of course.)

I can now be contacted by email... if anyone remembers to send me one and can find me on the system under the heading they expected to find me.
By voicemail... if anyone knows how to connect the customer in the first place and if only I knew why mine was broken.
By creating an incident especially with my name on it... as long as it has the right words in the right box otherwise it will never show up on my screen.
By sending me a message by the new radios... as long as it is switched on at the time because unlike mobile phones the system bins it if you aren’t available.
I can pick up information from a briefing pad in the briefing room, from a briefing pad on the force intranet, from a "hot" briefing on the intranet, from an intelligence briefing on the intranet
And from a mail box next to the clerks.

And still the most useful and foolproof way I get information is when someone goes to my tray and PUTS A NOTE IN IT.

There are those I am sure who get a benefit from all of this. In fact I would place a bet that there is a Sergeant together with a few staff behind desks somewhere whose 9-5 lives were incredibly difficult. It would take them 3 hours every Monday just to add up the figures until all these systems allowed them to get in, push a button and hey-presto! And all it takes is an extra hour a day on everyone else's paperwork. Well it would be a pity to be late for lunch, wouldn't it?

The original post can be found http://unlikelycop.blogspot.com/2007/03/i-read-bit-about-nspis-on-pc-bloggs.html

Nest-featherers feather nests

Published on March 28, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by Bitseach from Another bloody grumpy copper

The large police service for which I slave away for (sorry, work hard for - how un-PC of me! Oops!) has said that we all have to wind our necks in when we are blog, if we REALLY feel we have to.
I've paraphrased this of course. And yes, I do really have to.
We also mustn't be nasty or political or reference any cases (well duh for that last point! Some of my best stories are awaiting a suitable time period to have elapsed so as further to sanitise them...). However, political is one of those deliciously fuzzily-defined words and I choose to adhere to the (lawful? really?) curtailment of my speech on political grounds by empirically slagging off all idiots, cross-party, with no political bias whatsowhatso. I hate 'em all. They are all equally inept.
Their latest fiddle (whilst Rome's housing estates, healthcare and criminal justice systems all burn) is to vote THEMSELVES a lovely big pay-rise. Not an overt payrisey sort of payrise, that they'd have to quote openly on the "Nest-feathering" section of their websites (of which more later), but a quieter, harder-to-find benefit.
Firstly, last December, some of them reportedly wrote to their Senior Salaries Review Board to request, cap-in-hand a meagre and humble 66% payrise. What? A WHAT? Yup, a SIXTY-SIX PER CENT PAY RISE. Even quality newspapers like the Torygraph (oops again, perhaps some political bias might be evident there...) I mean Telegraph, report that during 2006 MPs' renumeration in its various forms rose by £13m. Again, yes that's right THIRTEEN MILLION POUNDS - about $25m for any US readers - whipped from our taxes.
The year before that, they had their snouts in the trough looking for 22% for themselves. Now the poor underpaid lambs want a further £10,000 per year towards their websites??! The darlings are only on a measley £60k average. Oh yeah, there's the small matter of (averaged) £131k each and the numerous directorships, heavily subsidised cafés, heavily subsidised BARS, their spiffy pensions. In fact, ever wondered why so many UK politicians are so fat? If you've ever been to one of their canteens (as I have) you'll understand - you'd run out of intestinal volume long before you ran out of money. Some of the many benefits they receive are listed here; in case that's a subjective source, go to their own site, here (and references therein). If they are also a member of a devolved parliament they receive an EXTRA £11k - 18k on top of their £60k (just to pi55 off the English!).
Police had to fight and go to arbitration this year to get a mean 3% - bodes ill for next year when we'll have a real fight on.
Nurses have just received a sub-inflationary pay rise of 1.9% per year.
But then they can't vote for their own pay rises, can they?
Join the bitter, bitchy world of the copper!

The original post can be found http://anotherbloodygrumpycopper.blogspot.com/2007/03/nest-featherers-feather-nests.html

Lets not allow another good cop to fall on his sword!

Published on March 28, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by PCFrankyFact from PC Franky Fact. His views on policing are lacking in tact.

This one's got me seething mad.
Another good man is punished for having the metal to stand up and tell the truth.
I've spoken via email to Johnno and he's told me that he's resigned and effective midnight this coming Saturday he's a civvie again. He said he's jumped before he was pushed.
Personally, I think he should have stayed.
I mean, whats he done wrong.
I know he's stepped out from cover and into the open. I wouldn't , but he has and bravo to him.
But, aside from that, on what grounds has he been suspended from duty?
I've read his article in the Express. As far as I can see he is in the clear. He has merely spoken out about our working practices. He has not confessed to any criminal acts.
Is it supposed to be a big secret that must be kept from the public?
All he has done is legitimately exercised his right of freedom of speech. I think his employers would be on a hiding to nothing if they tried to say he had brought the police service into disrepute.
This message should get out. Christ, we take the flak everyday from frustrated members of the public who want to know why we aren't there when they need us.
For GODS sake, I hope someone from our mighty protective shield that is the Federation reads this turns their attention away from planning the yearly drinking session that is the conference and gets this man the support that he needs.
His employers need taking on. You've come out into the open Johnno. You've got nothing left to lose. Stand your ground and fight them. I honestly believe that you would win. It could be a landmark case mate. We don't have to accept their findings of an internal discipline panel. Like I said in my email to you, you can take it outside to a panel of people outside the job. I believe that any reasonable person not connected with the job would agree that you have done nothing wrong.
I hope you do mate. If you walk away then they win and you will have done it all for nothing.

The original post can be found http://pcfrankyfact.blogspot.com/2007/03/lets-not-allow-another-good-cop-to-fall.html

What a feeling!

Published on March 27, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by PC PotShot from Pocket Book Entry

So, I've finally passed by probation period. Two years.....It seemed like is was going to be such a long time. The weird thing is that it didn't feel like two years. It felt way quicker. I remember when I went for my one year review as if it were only a few months ago. In fact, I now have over two and a half years in.

So, what did the transmogrification from Probationary Constable to Police Constable feel like? Well, it was indescribable. The overwhelming confidence and knowledge brimming over like an overflowing glass. The complete assurance that could only come from being an 'old sweat' now that I was almost one.
In fact, it felt nothing like the above. It was just like another day. Two years came and went and I didn't feel anything, except the warm sun on my face when I went back on duty after my confirmation.

I still feel like I don't know enough, that I need a few more years until I feel as confident as I look. I constantly check my actions and scrutinise my decisions and take nothing for granted. How long can I last like this? Roll on the day that I feel comfortable in most of my job decisions and KNOW that they are the right thing to do.

The original post can be found http://pocketbookentry.blogspot.com/2007/03/what-feeling.html

Thanks for the input

Published on March 27, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by unlikely cop from Unlikely Cop

Just a quickie. I have been forced to delete a couple of comments from someone I can only assume from the tone is a customer of ours. If you want to comment please be a little less offensive with the language and try and actually construct an argument. Don't just shout for police deaths. It's somewhat uncouth and definitely unnecessary.

It doesn't have to be good to stay posted. Or even particularly intelligent. Just a point of view and relatively clean.

The original post can be found http://unlikelycop.blogspot.com/2007/03/thanks-for-input.html

Vive La Revolution

Published on March 27, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by unlikely cop from Unlikely Cop

And here they go again. Not content with an ongoing review the government are to have another shake-up. I am sooooo peed off. In the last few years we have been shoved about, kicked from behind and above, given impossible and/or ludicrous targets, held accountable for ridiculous events, had all our discretion removed as though we are incapable of making a useful decision.

I think I have mentioned the “constant state of revolution" that the government have imposed on us. Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the shake-up BEFORE the revolution.

We have been slapped with SOCA, new arrest necessity tests, new fraud legislation, new sexual offences, new computer systems, new forms, new charging procedures which place us at the whim of the solicitors. We are obliged to treat playground arguments with the same vigour as robbery. Human Rights are for the suspect not the victim.

Of course I have had a number of courses on "managing change"... hah!

I have had 2 courses on stress.... tell you what. Stop piling the shit onto my shoulders and maybe my blood pressure will drop.

Have I had anything about fraud? Barely!

Anything about SOCA? Guess...

And don't even mention a reduction in bureaucracy. We are now obliged to go to the CPS for advice. You would think that you would be able to turn up with the evidence and a decision could be reached. The witness statements, say, and a bit about any CCTV. Maybe a bit about the suspect interviews. The reality is that you have to do everything. Every little scrap of paper has to be filled in. Even if you know the case is rubbish. Even if you turn up no evidence.

I grant you that some of the CPS try their best to help but some of them are just plain obnoxious. Who has been asked to provide an arrest statement before a decision has been made... For the laymen out there, that's a statement that says "I arrested X at (time and place)" And because you don't know who will be making your decision or whether their spouse picked on them that morning you do everything, every time. More taxes at work.

We are the masters of simplifying the process by replacing 1 form with 2.

We are setting up neighbourhood policing. Which actually means binning Beat Officers and getting some Community support Officers in. Jolly Good. Mrs Miggins can sleep better in her bed for that then. CSO's are the next Big Thing. Social workers and desk clerks looking for validation without any of the reponsibility.

Why they would want CSO's is beyond me. The police are slowly becoming social workers anyway. I have done the new fitness test. I promise you I am not particularly fit. And I didn't get even a little out of breath. But that's an irrelevance. Because no one wants us to fight the Bad Guys anymore. They want us to talk them to death.

The government, bosses, authorities etc need to realise we don't need Constant Revolution. We have no chance to get to grips with the new stuff before it gets replaced. We are demoralised and undervalued by those above us in the food chain and those we are expected to serve. Our discretion to deal with stuff has been taken away in case someone complains. And if they do we will beat the police officers concerned with the big stick of 20-20 hindsight and self-serving reactionary arrogance.

And you need us. Yes you. Parents barely discipline their kids anymore. Teachers have their hands tied. The social workers are too busy going by the book so they can't be blamed when the wheel comes off. The CPS doesn’t prosecute in case they lose and blow their conviction rate and the courts let them off with 20 quid over 3 years.

So you need us. To draw that line in the sand and to take them on when they cross it. So stop tying us up in knots and let us get on with it. Just for a little while.

The original post can be found http://unlikelycop.blogspot.com/2007/03/vive-la-revolution.html

Denial – it’s not….

Published on March 26, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by Bitseach from Another bloody grumpy copper

... big and it's not clever (hands up who thought I was going for the "river in Egypt" line?) [oh, wait, I kinda just did]
Apparently another of our glorious Home Office leaders, Baroness Scotland, has decided that there is no such specific thing as "black-on-black" violence and that gun crime is no more a young-black-male thing than a young-white-male thing. The data, apparently, do not support this being disproportionate to one ethnic group over another.
So why then do we have a large, handsomely-budgeted operation running to combat such crime? Why do Baroness Amos (another senior black female peer) Trevor Phillips (erstwhile commissioner of the Commission for Racial Equality, now the chair of the Commission for Equality & Human Rights) and Lee Jasper (London Mayor's police advisor) as well as the combined tactical brains of the Met Police all think that it DOES exist? Even Diane Abbott agrees on this one!!
Somebody is being disingenuous, but who (or just plain old-fashioned "wrong")?
Does Ma'am Scotland think that young black men are neither disproportionately the victims of gun crime, or is it just the shooting and not the victimhood that we are expected to deny for the sake of the Newspeak endemic in our, increasingly Orwellian society?
The implication of all this was that it is racist to suggest that young black men are more involved in gun crime than other groups. But why stop there? After all, no-one's saying that young black women are going around shooting people [sexist]. And why not deny other things just in case there's some perceived racial or ethnic bias? Perhaps it wasn't actually mainly white people who enslaved Africans 200 years ago - after all, the majority of white people 200 years ago were not any part of the slave trade, and whilst they probably on the whole didn't have lives quite as crappy as black slaves did, they certainly weren't all living on a cloud eating ambrosia either. So why pick on white people, or British people for that one?
Perhaps, in the 70s and 80s, Irish terrorism wasn't really committed by or on behalf of Irish people either. Perhaps the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor (sic) wasn't really carried out by the Japanese [racist], just by some random people who happened to be living in the Japan area at that time.
I am NOT claiming any moral equivalence here, by the way, just pointing out that sometimes, however distasteful, we might have to recognise that if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, has big flappy feet, a large bill, says "quack" and swims rather well, it is - in all likelihood - a bloody duck.
If young black men are really disproportionately victims of gun crime, and it's okay to point that out (and probably, thinking about it, institutionally racist to ignore and not try to tackle) then can we acknowledge too that some of these young lads are also disproportionately doing this sort of crime without the bony finger of racism being pointed our way?
Or if, in fact, this is not the case at all, we should surely, morally, be disbanding Operation Trident and its like and using the money elsewhere?
Quack.
PC "Ducky" Bitseach.
Join the bitter, bitchy world of the copper!

The original post can be found http://anotherbloodygrumpycopper.blogspot.com/2007/03/denial-its-not.html

Its Playtime.

Published on March 22, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by PCFrankyFact from PC Franky Fact. His views on policing are lacking in tact.

Found this great clip over on Charlie Lima's site.
It reminded me of the days out on patrol when occasionally, if it was quiet, and no one was about, the big kid that lurks inside of me would come out.
One foggy night me and my mate were at an alarm on an industrial estate awaiting the arrival of the keyholder. Premises looked to be secure. We checked around it with our maglites and I noticed the beam and how it looked in the fog.
Its not a torch! ITS A LIGHT SABRE!!
"What are you doing?" asks John (not his real name).
"I sense a great disturbance in the force." says I.
"You're disturbed." He says.
Then he draws his lite sabre and off we duel, sound effects and all, until we see the deathstar approaching and the keyholder arrives.
Different night, different industrial estate, same duo. John's driving slowly, I'm trying hard not to nod off when there they are in the headlights.
BUNNY WABBITS!

(WARNING! Those pink and fluffy in nature may wish to change blogs at this point.)

Drawing my trusty staff and winding down the passenger window I lean out.
"What are you up to?" asks John.
"Try and get one of those wabbits alongside will you. Its time to play Bunny Hockey".
Several runs and endless swings but those furry rodents refused to play along. I thought afterwards maybe it should have been more accurate to call it Bunny Polo, but its my game so Bunny Hockey stuck. Not that it mattered coz I never got one anyway.

(Please note. No Wabbits were harmed during the events on which this blog is based. Not for the want of trying though.)

I remember working one night as passenger in the van about 11 years ago. We pulled up alongside a panda. The bloke driving it really fancied himself. I loved to wind him up on account of him being a geezer from dahn sahf. He opened his door and sat there as we chatted. I then produced a can of silly string and covered him from head to foot as he tried to get at me, forgetting that he was wearing a seat belt so he just rocked back and forth. Oh the joy.

I heard tell in days gone by of a game that used to entail seeing who could get a stamp in their book from the furthest away station from your own but I've never done it myself.

Anybody got any interesting examples? Not that it goes on nowadays of course?

The original post can be found http://pcfrankyfact.blogspot.com/2007/03/its-playtime.html

First Day

Published on March 20, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by PCFrankyFact from PC Franky Fact. His views on policing are lacking in tact.

My online mate TUPC has been writing some powerful stuff recently on the things we deal with in the line of duty, as has Big Fella. They got me thinking way back to my first ever shift as an operational police constable back in 1990.

I’d done 20 weeks training at Hendon followed by 10 weeks street duties in an East London nick learning important stuff like how to deal with out of date tax discs and parking tickets. The time had now come to start work with C relief.

My first shift was nights. I turned up early for my 2200hrs start because as I was the new proby I had to make the tea for the relief until someone newer came along. Rightly so in my opinion.

After parading on I was doubled up with an experienced officer who I shall call PC Mick Berry, coz that’s his name. The rest of the relief all called him syrup on account of his full head of hair looked like it was a wig. I couldn’t see it myself but I wasn’t going to question their judgement, being all shiny and new.

Off we went into the night in our high powered 1 litre metro. He showed me the real important stuff like tea spots and good kebab shops as nothing much was happening.

Just after midnight we were driving around when I spotted a car coming towards us turn off sharpish without signalling. I told Mick and we went after it. Our car didn’t have a siren and the blue light would only work if the handbrake was on so Mick was sounding the horn and flashing the headlights at the car in front.

It took off like a bat out of hell. I could see 2 girls in the rear that did not look happy that the driver was failing to stop. Mick told me to put the shout on the radio which I did. The bandit car was leaving us behind going over the brow of a hill. We were both cursing our cars lack of power when just before getting to the top of the hill there was an almighty crash.

The sight that met us when we came over the top was awful. The bandit car had gone through a red light and hit a car that was crossing its path. The car struck had been slammed sideways into a lamp post and almost bent around it. The driver was trapped in the mangled wreckage and was screaming for help. The bandit car had spun around and the girl passengers had been flung from the rear door and were laid in the road in a bad way. The driver of the bandit car had gone straight through the windscreen and into some railings. We couldn’t do anything at that point for the trapped driver other than call for help which we’d done. Mick went to check on the girls and I went to the driver of the bandit car. His mouth had pink frothy saliva coming out. He died in front of me. There was nothing I could do for him. He had too many injuries.

The Inspector turned up as I was still kneeling by his body and told me to go and direct traffic. He told me I shouldn’t have to deal with this on my first day. The girls died too. The other driver was cut free. I don’t know what happened to him.

I can’t remember the rest of the shift.

It was one hell of a first day.

I’ve never had nightmares about it thankfully. I have over other stuff. Another time.

The original post can be found http://pcfrankyfact.blogspot.com/2007/03/first-day.html

He fought the law and the law lost.

Published on March 20, 2007 in Uncategorized. Closed

written by PCFrankyFact from PC Franky Fact. His views on policing are lacking in tact.

Way back in 1994 when I was a village bobby in a beautiful part of the country where god lives I was on patrol one summers eve, alone, 27.3 miles from my divisional HQ and 12 miles from nearest back up when I received a call of youths drinking in the village square causing a bit of a nuisance.

I duly attended and saw 2 lads, 1 known to me, the other not, with a few bottles of their favorite tipple.

I went over and engaged them in chat about taking it somewhere private when a third youth introduces himself to me by drop kicking the side of my head.

My trusty kwik kuffs exploded from their holster into a nearby garden which was nice.

I wrestled with my new friend and got to my feet.

The unknown of the 2 now decides he wants to play as well, so he picks up a bottle and smashes it, brandishing the broken bottle as he approaches explaining his new found interest in facial surgery.

I decide that my wrestling partner who is now trying to bite me would be better off on the floor with my knee on his back which is where he is placed.

I am then able to draw my trusty wooden peg which I point towards the approaching amateur surgeon and I shout to him that he should back the f... off or I will first render his friend incapable of harming me and then turn my attentions to him.

He is somewhat upset by my manner of restraining his tag team partner and my aggression towards him so he stops his advance but continues explaining his hobby and the need to demonstrate it on me.

I try an assistance shout but the wonderful rolling hills and peaks will not allow my request.

Unknown starts edging closer and I'm seriously considering having to knock my wrestling partner on the head when 2 large chaps from a nearby watering hole come out to investigate the noise.

Fortunately for me they are locals and ask would I like some help.

Hmmm.

It’s now a triple tag team against a double even though they are cheating by using weapons.

This becomes a stand off.

A passing youth is ordered by me to dial 999 which he does despite threats from unknown.

20 minutes pass by before a bobby arrives from ANOTHER force area. Along with my 2 assistants he takes on the bottle holder and overpowers him but gets kicked in the nuts and face in doing so.

A short while later a lock up van arrives from my force and the duo are taken away.

It’s at this point that the adrenaline wears off and I am introduced to the pain from the drop kick and subsequent collision with the wall. After doing a statement I'm off home to lick my wounds.

Time passes and I'm awaiting the court appearance which never comes.

The drop kicker mind you has taken to walking by my house everyday, staring in.

Eventually I ring the CPS to find out what’s happening.

The bottle chap jumped bail and is wanted for failing to appear.

My attacker?

Oh, he'd done a GBH on another guy in another village a few days before assaulting me so the CPS did a deal with his defense.

He pleads guilty to the GBH and they drop my charge!

I was furious. What kind of message was this to my assailant? It’s fine. Go ahead and attack the police.

I let the CPS know in a heated conversation that I, the victim, was not even informed.

They duly complained and my Chief Super had a right go at ME!

I was really disillusioned with the job at this point.

At the same time Eric Cantona was in the news for having a pop at a footy fan and he had been referred to the CPS for common assault!

Charles Pollard and Paul Condon had both made comments recently about loss of faith in the criminal justice system so I wrote and signed a letter to Police Review explaining what had happened to me and how I too had lost faith.

That was published as the lead letter.

A few days later I received a phone call from a woman’s magazine (shut up!) expressing their interest in speaking to me about the incident.

I tried to call my Chief Super but he was hobnobbing it at Bramshill so I sought advice from the press liaison office who couldn't see a problem.

So next day a reporter turns up, takes a few pics of where the assault happened and they do a story.

No fee I might add. I was just interested in letting people know what had happened. Stupid boy.

They left and the phone rings.

It’s the Daily Mail this time. I've already spoken to this mag I said. Did you sign anything they asked? No says I.

Next day they turn up. More pics. Another story.

A few weeks pass by and I'm in the station when in bursts my Chief Super. He's well pissed. He's waving a copy of the Mail and ranting about how the Chief Constable has been on the phone not at all happy.

He then explains to me that the first mistake I make he's going to bounce me around the 4 corners of the force area (it’s big) meaning I'd get moved.

So I left of my own accord and transferred to another force.

Now you tell me. Did my attacker fight the law and win?

I think he did.

I know I lost out all round.

The original post can be found http://pcfrankyfact.blogspot.com/2007/03/he-fought-law-and-law-lost.html